


you gonn' turn somebody tonight

by plinys



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Gen, parks and recreation AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-15 18:36:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9250562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plinys/pseuds/plinys
Summary: “I think it’s exciting! This is just what our little patch of government needs! Positive outlook,” Ray insists.“I agree with Ray,” Kendra nods, “Any press is good press, right guys?”“I feel like someone is forgetting the gay penguin incident,” Len points out.





	

**Author's Note:**

> i;m sorry. there will probably be more of this messy au soon. if anyones interested

“We here at the Central City Parks and Recreation Department really care about the - oh fucking hell. The meeting’s not for ten more minutes. Does nobody have a watch in this fucking-” 

 

*

 

“They’re making a documentary,” Rip explains to his gathered coworkers. The co-workers currently sitting on bean bag chairs on the floor rather than at a proper conference table.

“About the Parks Department?”

“Yes.” 

“That sounds fake,” Len drawls. The  _ but okay _ going unspoken, but universally recognized.

Especially by Sara who at his words catapults herself out of her beanbag to give him a high five.

Rip Hunter is not being paid enough to deal with this. 

He will never be getting paid enough to deal with this. This is something he has long since accepted. 

“I think it’s exciting! This is just what our little patch of government needs! Positive outlook guys,” Ray insists. 

“I agree with Ray,” Kendra nods, “Any press is good press, right guys?”

“I feel like someone is forgetting the gay penguin incident,” Len points out.

To which the group sagely nods.

“It was a week ago? How could anyone have forgotten it?”  

“Nobody is talking about the gay penguin incident,” Rip cuts in. 

“I feel like our camera crew needs to know about the gay penguin incident,” Sara agrees. 

“No. Absolutely not. Does anyone remember the rules?”

There on the wall directly above the door to Rip’s office is a list of  _ rules _ .

The first of which clearly reads:  _ Do Not Speak About The Gay Penguin Incident _ .  

“I don’t believe in rules,” Len replies. 

 

*

 

“The thing is - we have been doing a lot of promotions at the zoo, because Kendra’s  _ soulmate _ ,” Sara makes air quotes around the word, “Carter volunteers there part time. He’s got this weird thing with the birds. Which I mean respect, but also like -  _ penguins _ .”  

 

*

 

“No comment.” 

 

*

 

“Honestly, like I should have had Carter say something beforehand, but it was so cute. Ray put this little veil on the one penguin and, he’d just been broken up with again, so I didn’t want to break little his heart.” Kendra pauses. 

Eye flicking off over her shoulder to where the rest of the team is still assembled in their beanbags in the other room. 

“Ray’s really sensitive.”

She turns back to the camera.

“Oh, but like in a good way.”   

 

*

 

“Have you ever seen two penguins fuck? How were we supposed to explain that to the children? My baby sister was there and-”

Off screen, Rip shouts, “Lisa is twenty-three!”

“And scarred for life.”

 

*

 

“Okay, I’m here to show you around, and definitely not talk abou the penguin incident, because,” Ray gestures dramatically to the aforementioned chart. “Rule number one. And also rule number two.”

The chart, which is done in glitter paint.

Reads the following rules. 

  1. Do Not Speak About The Gay Penguin Incident
  2. See Rule One. Again. 
  3. Rip’s Office Is Off Limits.
  4. Do Not Feed Gideon After Midnight.
  5. No Fires.
  6. Sara Lance Was Here!!! 



“Sara made the chart. She’s really great with the glitter paint. It’s like one of my favorite things about her,” Ray insists. “Not that the rest of her isn’t great. She’s great. Everyone is great. Well - almost everyone...” 

“Why is there a camera crew in the office,” Jax asks. Having shown up late to work again - with coffee.  He stares past Ray blatantly at the camera before taking a long drink of his coffee. 

“Oh, you missed this morning’s meeting,” Ray replies, “They’re filming a documentary. We’re supposed to pretend that they’re not really here, but we can talk to them sometimes. Like on reality shows.” 

“This isn’t about the -”

“Rule Number One, Jefferson.” 

Jax groans loudly and rolling his eyes in the general direction of the camera.

“Just because I can’t see you rolling your eyes doesn’t mean I can’t sense it.” 

 

*

 

“I swear Gray has ESP. I can’t prove it yet, but I’m going too, just you wait.”

 

*

 

“So should we be, I don’t know, actually doing something? I mean, I hate my job as much as the next respectable government employee,” Sara insists, “But if they’re going to be recording us?”

Even as she says this, she sinks further into her beanbag chair, drinking the coffee Jax had brought for her.

It is good coffee.

“I mean, it’s not even noon yet,” Kendra replies. “You can’t expect the government to start working before noon, right?” 

“Hawk babe has a point,” Len agrees, before popping the hood on his winter coat up - even though it is June, a definitely not parka season - to hide his face away from the rest of the team.

There’s an eighty percent change he may be taking a nap.

The beanbags were quite comfortable after all. 

This wouldn’t be the first time it had happened. 

Or the tenth.

“You know what the best part of the gay penguin incident was-”

“The gay penguin incident that we are not talking about,” Rip reminds them. 

Stein is the only one who listens to him. Also the only one currently doing their job and not lounging around on beanbags drinking coffee waiting for their lunch break to come. 

Sara continues as if she was uninterrupted. “The cake.”

“I have good memories of that cake,” Jax agrees, “Best cake I’ve ever eaten at a gay bar.”

I still have my shirt from club. I mean I’ve never been to a gay bar before, but they were so sweet,” Kendra says. 

“They kept buying me drinks,” Ray says after a moment, “And telling me how soft my hair was. That’s normal right?” 

 


End file.
